"mirror-touch synesthesia"
The way you held me close when time slipped, as if sand between our intertwined fingers
Like a soldier being called to battle...you knew you had to leave soon
Unsure of when we would meet again, pouring all your love into those last hugs, honey dripped from your lips with every last sentence of reassurance
Naive little old me oblivious to the uncertainty dancing in your eyes watching me walk off
Now pictures and memories are all I have left but even those seem like a ripoff
The real you was the best you
Like a habit, I was so used to you
How your perfume haunts me every night
I catch myself dreaming of the melodic squeaks and snorts you made while laughing
You were so happy from the outside
But I knew there was so much more to you
I hate myself
I hate myself for looking at my phone and never calling
I hate myself for not asking if you were okay enough
I hate myself for giving up on you just because you had a lot more to deal with than me
I will never get the chance to hear you say my name
To hear you tell me it'll all be okay
To comfort me despite nothing in the world being enough to comfort you
Hope you’re no longer in pain
Else all this would be in vain
Hope you’re happy up there
Without you it’s not so happy down here
special thanks to adeela for writing majority of this poem with me
her social: https://www.instagram.com/adeela._.z/
